Saying Goodbye
by ekc293
Summary: "They were content, but they weren't happy." Kate and Josh have a conversation, and leave feeling better than before. Caskett. One-shot.


So after writing about a volatile JoshxKate breakup in "Someone that You're With," I decided to try to write one the way I think it will actually pan out.  
><strong>Disclaimer<strong>: I don't own Castle. Nor do I own I'm Not One for Complaining... But by The Best Week Ever

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><p><em>"And everything we thought we used to be<em>  
><em>Is now nothing but history."<em>

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><p>He had called her while she was sitting at her desk doing paperwork, saying that he needed to talk to her. She had asked him what was wrong, and he had told her that this conversation was not one to be had over the phone. She suggested they meet up for coffee at a little café halfway between the precinct and the hospital. He agreed, told her he'd see her there in half an hour, and then hung up the phone.<p>

She knew what was going to happen. He knew that she knew. She knew that he knew that she knew. But it still had to happen.

That's why Kate Beckett ended up sitting at an inconspicuous table at the café in the middle of New York City, the ceramic cup full of mint green tea creating a pleasant warmth in the tips of her fingers, despite it being spring. She stared at the liquid in her teacup and the ripples the vibrations made as her fingers gently tapped the side of the mug.

When she heard the door open, she didn't look up. She didn't need to. She knew it was him. A few seconds later (she assumed it was after he found out where she was sitting) she heard the sound of footsteps moving closer to her table. She didn't look up from her mug until she heard the chair on the opposite side of the table quietly move back and the person who had called her here to begin with sat down slowly. She gave him a small smile which he returned. And then the silence overtook them.

He spoke first.

"I'm sorry I'm late," he said softly.

"It's alright, Josh," she said back just as calmly. "I didn't order for you…" She gestured to the empty spot in front of him, "I figured you weren't going to be staying long."

He looked her in the eye as if he was searching for something in there, and eventually nodded.

They fell silent again.

"Where are you going this time?" She asked.

He looked surprised, obviously startled from his thoughts. He composed himself before he replied.

"Chile." He answered, "Some areas are still destroyed because of the earthquake that hit a few years back. We've been sending out a new rotation of doctors every six months…" He trailed off. He knew it didn't matter how long he was gone. She wouldn't be waiting for him when he returned.

She nodded.

"Kate..." he started extending his hand across the table. He gently unfurled her fingers from around the mug and gently held them, "I'm sorry."

She squeezed his hand back and gave him a smile. It was small, but genuine. "Don't be. This is who you are."

He smiled back at her and let go of her hand. He knew she understood. Being a doctor was as much a part of him as being a detective was a part of her. He would never ask her to give that up just as she would never ask him to do the same.

It's one of the things he loved about her.

But his love for her couldn't save them this time.

He had given up his mission in Haiti to come back to her because she had asked him to. She would go out to dinner with him after being awake for 27 straight hours because he had wanted her to spend time with him. But it still wasn't working.

They were content, but they weren't happy.

Because despite liking the feeling that they were making the other happy, Josh still wanted to travel the world and be a doctor, and after a long day Kate still just wanted to curl up on the couch with a good book and read until she fell asleep.

They couldn't give each other that.

And they both knew it.

Josh spoke again, "How's the precinct?"

She quirked an eyebrow at him. Was he really trying to drag this out?

"It's good. Everyone's well."

He nodded, "That's good…" he trailed off. "Castle doing alright?"

She stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out where he was going with this conversation. She nodded.

Josh sighed, "He'll be happy I'm gone."

She quirked her head to the side, "What do you mean?"

Josh chuckled quietly, "You know… for the best detective in New York City you sure are unobservant sometimes." He teased.

Kate's brow furrowed.

He sighed, "He's in love with you, Kate."

Kate stayed silent, thinking about what she had just said. Josh stared at her hands.

That was another reason Josh knew that this had to end.

He knew she wasn't in love with him. At least, she'd never love him as much as she loved Richard Castle. He saw everything. He saw the way her eyes lit up when she told a story of something the writer had said. He noticed that the Nikki Heat Series and a few of Rick's other books had permanent place on the nightstand beside her table. Josh saw that when she was off duty, she picked up Castle's phone calls after the first ring, while she picked up every other call after the second, as if she was anxious to hear his voice again.

He didn't even think she noticed she did it.

Josh had never been able to fully piece together what happened between them the summer before he had come into the picture. When he originally asked him about the author, he had gotten a curt, angry reply to his question. He assumed that Rick Castle's loss was his gain.

That was until he realized that he could never fully have Kate the way he wanted, because Rick Castle still had her thoughts and most importantly, her heart.

He lifted his eyes again and took a deep breath. "And I know you're in love with him, as well."

Her eyes snapped up to meet his. She opened her mouth to protest, to try to reassure him that she wasn't irrevocably in love with her partner, but she couldn't find the words.

Because in all truthfulness, she knew deep down that she and Josh would never last. They might've worked if the circumstances were different; if only she hadn't met him so quickly after having her heart shattered by Castle; if only Castle had never come back. There were just so many "if only's."

She made eye contact and spoke softly, "I'm sorry."

He gave her a small but genuine smile, "Don't be. He's good for you."

She dropped her eyes and Josh watched her lips tilt upward quickly before the muscles in her face relaxed and she looked up to gaze at him.

"I know about Tanya," she whispered quietly.

His eyes snapped up to hers, widening slightly.

She smirked at him. "Best detective in New York City, remember?"

Tanya had been one of the doctors that he took his mission trips with. They had been dating for about a year when she had broken it off with him for another man. Before their last Doctor's Without Borders trips, Tanya and her beau had broken up, and Josh couldn't deny that he still had feelings for her. He thought his feelings for Kate had been stronger, but he had been mistaken.

"I'm not mad," she said softly. He could've sworn he saw her cheeks grow a shade darker, "I understand."

He nodded. He knew she did.

A comfortable silence fell between them.

She cleared her throat, "When do you leave?"

"Saturday night," he said, "they want to get out before we get hit by that massive thunderstorm we're supposed to get."

She nodded. That was two days away. "You should probably start packing then, if you'll be gone for six months."

He nodded his head and stood up. He straightened out his jacket as she stood up as well. He moved towards her and they embraced each other.

"Be careful," she whispered.

"Stay safe," he whispered back.

They let go of each other and smiled at each other.

"Goodbye, Kate."

"Goodbye, Josh."

And with that, Josh turned on his heel and walked out of the café, never looking back.

Kate sat back down and lifted her lukewarm cup of tea to her lips and took a deep sip. She sighed when she put it back down and stared at her hands.

Kate was brought out of her thoughts by the ringing of her phone. She smiled when she saw who was calling her. She picked up after the first ring.

"Miss me already, Mr. Castle?"

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><p><em>"We'll take what we've learned from this and go our seperate ways<em>  
><em>I've never been so sure of it, you'll all stay the same.<em>  
><em>Well I'm not one for complaining, but you've got this all mistaken<em>  
><em>Yea we were the ones that fought this 'till the end<em>  
><em>Now I'm praying that this is it."<em>  
>I'm Not One for Complaining… But, The Best Week Ever.<p>

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><p>I seriously think their break-up would go something like this. Nothing big, just quiet acceptance and saying goodbye.<br>Also, the ending? I thought it was adorable.  
>(Listen to the song, here: .com watch?v=u2kBQcT9Tu0)  
><strong>Love it? Hate it? Let me know what you think. <strong>(:


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